You know those annoying  commercials where Person A offers Person B a piece of overly sweet junk food, and is refused with the comment “That contains high-fructose corn syrup. You know what they say about high-fructose corn syrup.” And then Person A says,  all cocky, “What do they say?” and Person B stumbles to silence while Person A lays out the party line that it’s really just sugar and it’s all okay?

Well, it turns out that the correct answer to “What do they say?” is “It’s full of mercury, bozo.”